On August 21, 2021, we held a two-hour in-person Parent Education meeting. I could see on the parents’ faces their longing to meet in person and share stories in the midst of this pandemic. As other parents nodded, Aghata said, “I really miss face-to-face parent meetings to get closer and get to know each other, especially with parents of new children at Joglo Preschool this year.”

The meeting was held at the Peace Place training hall, a comfortable, open space to meet. We wore masks, washed our hands, had our temperature taken, and sat at a distance. The meeting was attended by 13 parents. We discussed practicing agreements with children. Agreements with our children can help manage the added stress of the pandemic. The sequence of activities was:

• Stopping
• Introduction: Names and good habits our family does are…
• Agenda preview
• Agreements to Practice Peace
• Play
• Agreements for Place and for Play
• Next Steps, Reflection, and Closing: today’s feeling

During the introductions, Bowo shared, “I was brought up from a young age using coercion. From that experience I learned to try to involve children in doing activities. At first, I forbade it because it was a hassle. But then I saw how my son wanted to help. Finally, I decided to give him a chance. Like taking out the garbage, I usually remind him to take out the garbage and show him where. But one day I was surprised, when I saw him taking out the garbage himself without being reminded. I think that’s a good development.”

We then read the Agreements to Practice from the AVP-Creating Culture of Peace (CCP) workshops.

• Agreements to Practice
• Affirm self and others; no put downs or put ups.
• Stop, listen, don’t interrupt.
• Speak simply and honestly, without fear of mistakes.
• Speak from one’s own experience, not others’ without permission.
• Make friends not enemies with people similar and different from yourself.
• Ask for and offer hospitality, feedback and help.
• Tend to emotion, then speak directly if in dispute.
• Use what’s needed and share the rest fairly.
• Use your rights to pass and to ask for consultation.
• Volunteer yourself only, not others.
• Take care of each person, group, community, and the natural world.
• Live in integrity with life’s transforming power.

We took turns reading one point and saying what it means to me. Kenik read, “Take care of each person, the group, and the Earth.” She explained, “In front of my house there is a soccer field where children play every day. If they start fighting, I yell at them to stop. I can see they are scared of me, like I’m the police. From this agreement, I have learned to take care of myself and my emotions, so I can take care of the children without scaring them.”

After discussing each Agreement, we set up three times the places and materials for play as the number of people in the group, so they could choose. We read and posted the Agreements for the Place and Agreements for Play that we use with their children when they play:

Agreements for the Place

• Respect and love.
• Be polite and patient.
• Listen.
• Speak softly.
• Use your words.
• Make decisions.
• Be clean.
• Be enthusiastic and enjoy.

Agreements for Play

• Pick one thing to play with.
• Take care of the materials, use what’s needed.
• Use things in their proper place.
• Use things for their proper purpose.
• Focus, from start to finish.
• Tell someone about it when you finish.
• Clean up.
• Choose another thing to play.
• Enjoy!

It’s good for parents to experience playing. After a few moments of focusing on the materials, they naturally started to talk with each other, including how to help their children at home. Before cleaning up, we invited them to share about what they had done or made. In the large group we asked: How did it feel to play? What did you learn? How does it feel when you’re playing and time is up?

After a break, we discussed the Agreements for the Place and Agreements for Play in more detail. Teddy commented, “I am happy with these agreements. When this approach is practiced continuously, education becomes embedded and very useful in the future. This is important! And it requires cooperation, communication, and agreement between father and mother to educate together.” Kenik added, “When I was at home with the children and saw something wrong, I immediately talked to the children for a long time. Maybe they didn’t hear or understand what I was saying, because they kept doing it. After looking at the words in this brief agreement, I will learn to speak briefly and use the words in this agreement. I will post these agreements at home so I can remember them.”

Then we discussed the next steps. We gave them information on activities at Joglo Preschool and ways parents can support their children. The activity closed by conveying how they felt about this session. The parents were very appreciative. It’s not just the ideas in these agreements, it’s how practicing and expecting them changes our lives.

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