When no acceptance mixes with an inability to control oneself, the reflex to vent excessive energy can turn violent. Self-defense or self-protection from discriminatory behaviors can result in verbal and physical violence. You may end up in prison, forcibly detained and denied freedom under state authority. Doing Alternatives to Violence Project (AVP) workshops with friends in prison is an unforgettable experience.
I felt awkward when we first met. But coming up with good adjectives to go with our own names made me feel comfortable with the men incarcerated here. AVP creates a friendly atmosphere when we each say our name with a positive adjective, in turn, in a big circle.
Community agreements really help us take turns listening and speaking. We practiced being consistent in applying the agreements. We reflected on the agreements in every session. Each session brought us closer. They greeted me when I arrived and said thank you after the sessions. It moved me deeply, especially when I remembered the awkwardness of our initial meeting.
We also became aware of the changes that happened within us as we took care of ourselves. The activity Stand on a Line reminded us of how to do that, such as drinking water or getting enough sleep. It was difficult for the men to change their habits. One of them said prison conditions made it difficult to take care of themselves. The rooms were shared, but they realized it was important to pay attention and wanted to try. After the next meeting, some friends said that drinking more water actually helped them feel fresher and more able to adapt to their situation in prison. Getting consistent sleep was not as easy, because they were huddled together or fights broke out at night.
Grounding, stopping, and playing were refreshing and really helped us “come back.” They were happy with the Light and Livelies – running around, laughing out loud, and shouting. The effects were really felt, and helped ground us. We discovered we could laugh again, even after brainstorming “What is Violence?”
At the end of the last day’s session, we reflected on what we had practiced over the six sessions. From the way they spoke at the end, I could feel the depth of their reflection. One friend cried when he described how he had never seen his mother after his parents’ divorce. He was raised by his grandmother, who was not able to give him the love he needed, because she often migrated for work. He wound up living with friends who were using drugs, which was how he ended up in prison.
Others didn’t talk. They kept quiet and asked to pass, while looking down. Some told stories, saying how grateful they were to meet the team who brought AVP to them and their friends inside. They hoped the training would continue, because it was so helpful and gave them mental support.
From this workshop with my friends at Pati Prison, I learned the importance of having space for friends to talk, admit mistakes, offer assistance, and get opportunities to improve themselves in a space that is conducive and cooperative. We all need recognition from each other.
Even the supervisors and guards used violence when carrying out interrogations, which caused the prisoners stress, while emotions rose and violence occurred. AVP really helped them realize their mistakes and change what they could do personally.
Living in peace is very real. Every human being has great powers for good that are able to create peace, including friends in prison as well as those working for the state. Everyone plays an important role and is responsible for creating peace and justice in society.
According to Martin Luther King, Jr., we “… must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression, and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.”
AVP teaches us how to practice acceptance and compassion to love one another.